coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
