he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
