Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize