I just gift wrapped bread.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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