I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
