we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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