I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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