shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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