IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
