its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
