porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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