oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so let's talk penis.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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