So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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