My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
