I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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