lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize