so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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