CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
