The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
