what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
