TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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