This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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