he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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