I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What a dumb baby whore.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
