my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
