My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
