dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize