Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
