Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
