sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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