Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
