oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
