its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
