Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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