I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
