how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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