white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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