she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
