where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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