you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
