Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
