Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
