Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
