I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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