I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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