i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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