Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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