"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
