you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
