I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize