are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
