i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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