mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
