just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
