i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
