life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
